Thursday, December 6, 2018

Dis(e)cretion

You keep on asking
I keep avoiding
Your insistence approach
Didn't seem rewarding
I'm not in search
I'm not yet wandering
What makes you think
I'm waiting, wanting?
There's no subsistence
In your coffer
there's no life blood
That I've been thirsting
There isn't meaning
In those words
It sounds to me
Like chirping birds

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

Snooze

Waste away each day
succumbing to old habits
spent the afternoon
chasing clever rabbits
shifting sticky gears
clutching broken records
paying my fair share
on dilapidated presence
it's useless air anyway
until we run out of it
it's ironic when we evolve
and finally don't need it
it's heavy and it's vibrant
at least on the outside
to me, it's just a dream
we may never wake from.
I feel like I'm in a dream that I may never wake from.

?

Do you know the secret word?
Has it been uttered?
Have you heard?

Sunday, September 2, 2018

Patience

You're better than that
At least a bit
You're better than those
In the thick of it
You're better than me
You passed that test
Better than those
Who've yet to confess
I'm tired of this
These hourglass days
Suns that fade
Endless charades
I'm too weak for this
These experiments
These placebo coffins
Are suffocating
I'm tired of trying
Crawling around
I'm tired of hiding
Avoiding the crown
Definite demise
Prophetic obscurity
Indifferent denial
Sufficient deficiency.
If I look back on this
Thirty yesterday from now
I'll wonder to the gods
What meaning have I found?
Not much, I said
Though I wish I hadn't
Somedays I return
To the boy I was once
I watch him in his room
And give my subtle warnings
It's not worth the trouble
But the risk is too great
Just sit on your hands, kid
And wait, wait, wait.

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Woof.

More and more
I feel just like
A rabid dog
Gnashing it's teeth
At nothing really
In particular
Just showing that
I've still got grit
I've still got heart
There's still something
Inside this chest
That burns for this
Incessant trap
It's really not
The multitudes
That cause the panic
It's the magnitude
That washes over
The congregation
All lowers their heads
In silent disdain
For what they've read
And I'm just glad
I've finally found
A reason to
Get out of bed.

If not, then what?

Pray for the victims
Pray for their pain
Pray for the memories
That still yet remain
Pray for their bodies
Pray for their lives
Pray for the greiving
And their swollen red eyes
Pray for the mothers
Pray for lost sons
Pray for the families
Who lost loved ones
Pray to your god
Pray to the trees
Pray to whom listens
Whilst on your knees
Pray to the mountains
Pray to the sky
Pray to the birds
Who's wings still fly
Pray for reluctance
Pray for regret
Pray for me, child
Before you forget.

Thursday, August 23, 2018

HOONOSE

Oh boy! Oh boy!
Now here we go
Collect your thoughts
then toss them aside
you won't need them
where we're going
Oh no! Oh no!
You'll only need mine.
The pictures get painted
monochromatically
with brush strokes so
emphatically
an epithet, a parapet;
my shiny silver coin
has been spent.
I gave my time
to a broken watch
that could keep
me from being late
I smashed it's face
I broke it's hands
now I control
this timeless land.
I deem myself
a worthy pope
alas, I spoke
and it was good.
the secret word
was uttered once,
could you tell?
did it stick inside
the brain space
get stuck to your hemisphere
like I thought it might?
I wonder if the fight
is ever worth the instigation
My blood flows black
in resignation.
finally; finality
is but a distant
non-memory
somethings never are meant
somethings are better
not heaven sent
my heaven is a box
a black box
full of blinking lights
each at a different rate
each a slightly different brightness
all the same color
all the same size.
my heaven stops
but I am fine.