Delirious Thoughts Of The Sleep Deprived

Delirious Thoughts Of The Sleep Deprived:

• Jester dancing in table, smiling big, eyes bleeding from corner.
• Poor Albanian boy, starving and covered in flies.
• I am eating dog food.
• Foam finger pointing at me, then turned into porcupine quill and stuck into my finger- Ouch!
• Beach ball rolling down a hill actually is a hand grenade but when it blows up, world hunger problem is solved!
• Feeling warm, actually am in Florida during a giant hurricane, but hurricane is actually Count Chocula giving everyone vouchers for free oil changes at Oil Can Henrys.
• Changing an old mans diaper- Gross!
• Foot itching actually is a midget growing out of my foot, starts biting me until I have an abortion in Diary Queen and regret it for the rest of my life.
• Feel like helicopters are actually made of candy canes.
• It's spring break, but it means the opposite. Instead I have to do tons of school, but instead of it being like regular school, I have to eat as much candy as I can but the candy is made of vegatables so it tastes really gross. But vegatables are actually really bad for you so I get cancer and die.
• I'm upside down, but everything else is too, so it seems normal, but I still can tell it's not so I get really freaked out. Oh, and sheep are the only one's who know if the chicken or the egg came first but they won't tell us because sheep are assholes.
  
• I sleep for 24 days, until I am awoken by a man in a bear suit who gives me a job on the weekends as a surfing instructor, but I don't know how to swim. So I teach everyone to fly instead.