Joon

In my head there are things
bugs and blood meandering
through my brain they're all bending
this way that way every which way
always moving always twitching
leaving me blinking and flinching
blinded by my own devices
I am shrouded in my vices

In my eyes there's someone else
someone mean and someone cold
or maybe that is who I am
I'd sever my hand just to hold
there's always comfort in myself
there's always certainty in me
no one can ever replace the voice
that whispers sweet things in my ear.

I forgot to feed my dog
I forgot to go outside
I forgot the simplest thing
I forgot sympathy.

I laugh when people lack timing
I cry when people walk on by
we are all so common place
there's nothing unique inside these bones
just some marrow, nothing more
nothing left for the autopsy
nothing left to pick apart
that alone terrifies me
I want to be poked and prodded
I want to be dissected
I want to be picked apart
I want my pieces on the table

Someday I will see myself
for everything I am
on the contrary to looking at myself
as everything I could have been

When I was young I was misguided
led to believe that I was special
I thought that I could change your mind
without making up mine first.