Reluctance through revelry

You always said
you'll be sorry
when I'm dead
I hope you know
I am sorry

the darkest sky
I've ever seen
with closed eyes
surrounding me
the dusk retreats
when winters end
my summer still
around the bend
it's trickling in
it's keeping on
repeating things
to sound in sync

my minds eye
was blind one time
and now I squint
when I'm confused
this existence bleeds
nonexistent things
my blood seeps
through open pores

my fingers click
my muscles contract
there's still time left
for one more attack

face to face with beauty
I avert my scrunched brow
much too much to focus on
the time for fleeting is now