I Feel.

When you wake up in the morning, how do you feel?
I feel very tired.
When you are laying in your bed after a long days work, how do you feel?
Me, I feel tired.
When you are taking more-than-the-directed-dose of NyQuil to get over a "bug" that you've had for weeks and yet you still are just as sick as ever, how do you feel?
I feel very, incredibly tired.
Now, by now you are probably asking yourselves, "Why is this guy so tired?" and first of all, thank you for your concern.
The answer, is because I am always tired.

When you go for three days without so much as a corn flake to eat, how do you feel?
I feel very hungry.
When you give up all food for lent, several weeks later, how do you feel?
Me, I am feeling hungry.
When you decide to swear off food forever, and then after a few months, you die of starvation and after your funeral, how do you feel?
I feel very, very, hungry.
Now, I know what you're thinking. "This guy sounds hungry!" and do you know why I sound hungry?
Because I am hungry. I am always hungry.

When you see a large woman getting stuck as she tries to squirm her way out of a compact car, how do you feel?
I feel very sassy.
When you see a man in a banana suit being raised into the sky on a crane, complaining about the cost of corn and whatnot, how do you feel?
By now, I am feeling awfully sassy.
When you spend seventeen years training to be a expert in the ways of "monkey torture", only to find out that monkeys have gone extinct, how do you feel?
Probably angry, and a little regretful. But me, I just feel sassy.
Now, I know you think that I must be sassy ALL of the time, but I'm really not. For instance, if a man reaches a crosswalk, looks both ways, and then safely crosses, do I feel sassy? No.
That is because there are certain instances to feel certain ways.
Some times are okay to be tired. Some times are okay to be hungry. And lastly, there are times to be sassy.