A Timeline of Grief: Perpetual

 

I was powerless in April

Until I turned the page over

Now I'm powerless in May

Out of ink from slashing days

I took the things you gave me, 

Now I reap what I sow

You saw the good inside of me,

and now, nobody knows.

The life I had

It's over now

The fruit went bad

Inside my hand

It's all a joke

I just don't get

I'm sorry for

My part in it

The sun had set

Before my eyes

I couldn't sleep

There was no time

I tried to melt

And drain away

It was so cold

But you remained

You weren't supposed to leave us. 

You never should have died. 

I wish I could have saved you. 

I'm sorry girl, I tried. 

I never knew the depths I could find

Forever digging with you on my mind

Another way to delay a little pain

As above, so below 

Only you will ever know

In dreams I'm stuck

Chasing after you

Around the bend

Where'd you run off to? 

The morning bell

I pay the toll

Embrace restraint 

And let it roll

A shell without a core 

Always searching for more

I've uploaded all the data

But still am incomplete 

It's like I'm losing power 

And the lights are getting dim 

The engine's revving high 

But I'm not moving 

Nothing else could have it

It's never coming back

My heart is in her memory

It's all that I have left

I don't want what I have, 

I would fold my hand

Just to take yours 

Only once more. 

Seven Loves You.

You were always hiding behind every wishful thought

A flicker in the darkness of the light almost forgot 

The oxygen has vanished and I'm on my last breath,

Digging more and more each day,

Have I reached you yet?

Isolation is a heavy stone

but there's no island,

I'm not alone.

I'm just trying to be a better man

Just trying to be good. 

What makes a man? 

Is it in me?

It must be heavy;

I think I'm sinking.

I know the weight of my mistakes 

They pull me under in my dreams

I'm always running uphill

Until I wake up at the bottom.

I know the choices were all mine;

I'm the only one to blame

but that doesn't ease my mind

and it hurts just the same.

"As much as I loved it;

As great as it was;

I ripped and I ruined it

And now it is done"

I'm in an echo chamber 

and I can't find my way out

I keep hearing the same words

like they're coming from my mouth

Seven loves you,

even when you lose hope.

When you forget to hail mary;

Or run out of rope. 

Seven loves you,

when you're ever in doubt.

I ain't got nothin left to say

except the truth.