Waterlogged

The arrows all point in the same direction, 

So many reasons, but the result is the same. 

My body sinks deeper with every reflection. 

A soggy matchbook unable to produce a flame. 

The dog in my mind doesn't need me to bleed. 

But the memories are sharp and cut too deep. 

She circles the bowl when it's time to feed. 

But I'm out of luck and there's holes in my keep. 

Day after day, 

one foot, then the other. 

She was my favorite, 

I'll never love another. 

Pennies in the fountain, 

With every petal I pull, 

I need to stop counting. 

The coffer's already full. 

I'd pay any cost

and sever every tie

I wouldn't see it lost, 

if she could still be mine. 

Through the Window

Looking in from the window

What has life become? 

The glue holding me together

Has come undone

Every night under the moonlight

Always watching from the shadows.

Keeper of your every comfort,

Will I ever find my own? 

I don't want to live on your dime

But I feel like I've got more time

Is the choice really yours or mine? 

I don't think I'm ready to die.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I don't want nothing to count on me 

I don't want to let it all down 

It's hard enough to hold the line 

When you're leaning on a rain cloud

Didn't need to lay you down to rest 

You were already on the ground 

So I laid down beside you 

Until the sun came 'round

I didn't know what else to do

It seemed like it already happened

There was no light, or warmth, or hope.

The sun begat dark, cold, pain. 

Ever since I've been piling stones

and cursing winds of they ever fall. 

Praying to the birds that there's some meaning in this misery.

Some long awaited reward at the end of the pit.

Digging deeper, still.

Have I reached you yet? 

_______________777777777777777

There's a song in my heart

But it stopped when yours did

I can't lose if I don't play 

So what's the point?

I don't want your help

You just wouldn't get it

I don't want the pain

I just want to forget it. 

I don't mean that,

I'm sorry I said it.

but it hasn't been the same

and I'll always regret it.

1/3/26

1/3/26 

The calendar is full of lies 

The days are growing wings and I've

Been swatting them like flies, 

Avoiding my goodbye.

But if it's been so long

Then why can I still hear you

Every time that I come home? 

Now I walk the path alone. 

How many days have passed

Since I laid down beside you

and I tried to take to your pain

but only could make more. 

But how could it be so long? 

I can still feel you looking over my shoulder 

I still see your shadow coming closer 

I still hear you every time I come home. 

The days are flying by 

and here I am still stuck 

on the last calendar page

I'm still here, but everything has changed. 

Happy.

I was barely older than you when we found this little pup.

Her tail wouldn't stop wagging so she must've been happy

She was always stuck to my leg like a bootknife 

Never needed a lead, I knew she'd never leave

I was barely a man when I left her behind

and the years that past weren't always kind

She got so much older, started losing her sight

So I made more time and she held on alright

But things changed so fast and it's never seemed fair

that the day that she let go, I wasn't there

I loved her so much and without trying to be sappy

Every time I think of her, she can still make me happy. 

Seven Loves You.

You were always hiding behind every wishful thought

A flicker in the darkness of the light almost forgot 

The oxygen has vanished and I'm on my last breath,

Digging more and more each day,

Have I reached you yet?

Isolation is a heavy stone

but there's no island,

I'm not alone.

I'm just trying to be a better man

Just trying to be good. 

What makes a man? 

Is it in me?

It must be heavy;

I think I'm sinking.

I know the weight of my mistakes 

They pull me under in my dreams

I'm always running uphill

Until I wake up at the bottom.

I know the choices were all mine;

I'm the only one to blame

but that doesn't ease my mind

and it hurts just the same.

"As much as I loved it;

As great as it was;

I ripped and I ruined it

And now it is done"

I'm in an echo chamber 

and I can't find my way out

I keep hearing the same words

like they're coming from my mouth

Seven loves you,

even when you lose hope.

When you forget to hail mary;

Or run out of rope. 

Seven loves you,

when you're ever in doubt.

I ain't got nothin left to say

except the truth.