Long Ways

 You and I both know

We got a long ways left to go

The road ain't paved in gold

But you've got a hand to hold

As long as you're beside me

There's no sense in hiding

I've got so much time

I'm ready to resign

And if you wanna go

I'll go get your coat

And if you wanna stay

That's all you have to say

You and I both know

We've got so far to go

The road ain't paved in gold

But you've got a hand to hold

Tumbleweed

I'm still out there searching, for what I don't know. 

Still haven't found it anywhere I go.

I'm just a tumbleweed rolling along, 

A big gust of wind comes and I'm gone. 

I pick up my head and widen my eyes, 

but still I can't see through all of the flies.

There's a knife in my pocket, it's edge has been lost

So many strings cut with no regard for the cost.

I'm just a survivor, out here on the range.

Still looking for purpose for the rest of my days. 

I'm just a marauder with no moral code. 

Searching for warmth in my humble abode. 

When my season comes and the dog days gone, 

I'll be left with my empty jar and mournful song. 

"I'm just a tumbleweed, rolling along. 

A big gust of wind comes and I'm gone."

Overdue

 the things I'd do 

to prove I'm true

my love for you

is overdue

there's nothing to

my love for you

it's painted blue

and lonely too 

the things I'd do

to prove to you

my love is true

but it's overdue

my love for you

is overdue

Soggy

 down it comes

will it ever stop?

gutters clogged

spilling over the top

used to let

things run its course

now I fret

in my discord

saturated

all around

the ground makes

that squishy sound

it will be soaked

it will be wet

but then it will stop.

no healthy upstream

 I tried to say it, yet again

Crumbled up the paper before I even wrote the words

None of it matters anymore, if it ever even did. 

I can say the same thing in a thousand languages

but I can't make it make sense. 

If I was a kinder man

If I could still a shaky hand

If there was promise left inside

If it wasn't infected with rot

I don't know why it fixates me so

There's nothing but phantoms in my reflection

When did my focus become so distorted?

How long before my eyes fully adjust? 

My insides are twisted

I'm being held up with wire

My animation is not my intent

Who's calling the shots here? 

MOVE.

 Voices in my ears

pulling me backwards

calling my name

in a familial tone

Telling me to look

under every stone

but everything dissolved

inside of my hands

they all turn to sand

and float through my fingers

I cannot contain

what drifts away

I am translucent

and yet

still in the way. 

Waves

On the first day, I was lost

Scrambling around

In the desert

Crawling on my knees

I couldn't even breath

Then came the wave

And I was carried out to sea

Trying to keep my head

Above the water

I still couldn't breath

And when I washed ashore

There was acceptance

And peace

But only for a time

Until another wave

Carries me again

This time much further

And it takes all night

Just to be washed ashore

And crawling back again

But this time tentative

And avoidant and afraid

Because it doesn't take much

Before another wave

And everytime it happens

I hold a little more water

Inside my lungs

Barely able to breath

But there's always healing

Just with a little

More scar tissue

Petty

 If we're free falling 

at least I hope

the ground is soft

if not I fear

I may not make it

I fell before

collapsed a lung

not a bad one they said

but none is good

but this is worse

I have no words

only air inside

these whistling birds

they're lonely now

all red and blue

they didn't know

they had no clue

I picked them up

and held too tight

I had to let go

I couldn't watch them die. 

?

 how can it be wrong

when no one knows

precisely what

it is you are doing?

Another Day Goes By.

 Another day goes by. 

I'm waving away the flies from my eyes. 

Another errant year, avoidance turned to fear, 

Another day goes by. 

It's coming up again. 

I'm setting off alarms until they begin. 

I blink and then it's gone, it wasn't here for long 

but it's coming up again. 

Another day goes by. 

I'm cauterizing wounds until pain subsides. 

Another loved one lost, some uncalculated cost, 

Another day goes by. 

I'm waking up again. 

I'm brushing off the dust that had settled in. 

I'm born into a box, I've gummed up all the locks, 

To be waking up again. 

Another day goes by.

I can't remember any reason why? 

I watch them move along, wheels and cart and all, 

Another day goes by. 

I'm sorry for my thoughts. 

I'm sorry for the people who I led astray, 

I'm sorry for my words, I'm sorry if you've heard

but I'm sorry for my thoughts. 

It's hard not to feel like it's all your fault. 

Like you've pushed every person away. 

It's hard not to feel like you're the worst. 

And everyone's dying just to get away. 

Give it up, all of this pain. Give it to someone deserving. 

But who's more deserving than I? 

Give it up, it's not yours but the ones who abuse you. 

But why do they all have my voice? 

Why does the earth seem to tremble and quake? 

When do the heavens cry out for my sake? 

What does it matter if every voice

echo's the same refrain, "You, the mistake."

When is enough ever enough? 

Why did I push them away? 

When will I learn, when will I see? 

Tolerance isn't the goal, but the absence of pain.